D1 Report - Monument - Home - Won 5-0

From Phil

When all's said and done, however, charming as they were, they turned us over and sent us down the river. But the Natives are not remotely downhearted because that's not our way. As the song nearly says, "we'll meet the Monument again . . . some sunny day!"

That was written 9 weeks ago. The Natives A team had just suffered a narrow and, as it seemed at the time, needless defeat in their early season league match at the Monument. Well, that match was played in a finger-freezing Arctic gale and we may still be waiting for a sunny day to arrive but the return match was duly played on Tuesday night at the Belmont ground and, while the weather hasn't greatly improved during the intervening time, the result could hardly have been more different from that of the earlier encounter. 

Forecasts had warned of "slow- moving, localised, prolonged, torrential downpours," arriving in the early part of the evening. No surprise, then, that as the two teams took to the piste and the triples games got underway, a few thunderheads were already beginning to roll in across the sky, like ships of the line with massive black sails all set and billowing. Rain during the previous twenty-four hours had already turned the terrain from a dust-bowl into a pudding-bowl but at least there was no surface water to contend with.

The Monument players allotted to appear on the far piste against Peter, Duncan and Phil found, as most visitors do, that it was a piste far too tricky for them and, in the face of Pete's precision pointing and Duncan's sharp shooting, they floundered around for about ten minutes, lost the game 13-0, and then retired to a sanatorium for the terminally baffled. Meanwhile, on the near piste, Robert, Robin and Alan found themselves involved in a monumental struggle against three tenacious escapologists who kept finding ways to turn adverse situations to their advantage. At 11-12 the away team appeared to have a slight advantage but then the brave Natives came up with a little trademark magic to produce the two points they needed to win the game. 

So far, although there was a steady drizzle in the air, the threatened deluge had not materialised. However, the gathering gloom suggested that something more ominous than night was about to fall so the doubles games commenced immediately. On the sticky far piste Robin and Phil wasted no time racking up a 9-2 lead before demonstrating their generosity by giving away a 5 and a 2 on consecutive ends to even up the score. However, the Natives were then able to steady the ship, largely navigated by Robin, and the tide turned once more in this heavy weather game. The Natives duly picked up the 4 singles that were required to steer them safely home.

Meanwhile, on the near piste, Alan and Pete had embarked upon a venture of their own, playing against a pair of doughty opponents who pushed them hard but were unable to catch the experienced Natives once they'd got the wind in their sails. After tacking sideways once or twice the home side successfully negotiated the rapidly dampening piste to cross the winning line by 13 points to 10.

Both of these games were completed before the occurrence of the worst of the weather but the game involving Duncan and Robert on the middle piste was still in progress when the forecast squall struck. All personnel, bar four very brave players, were compelled to seek shelter by the sudden opening of the celestial sluices. Several ends of aquatic petanque were then played. But, completely undaunted, the Natives managed to cruise comfortably through the curtains of rain to scupper their opponents by 13 points to 6 and to earn the home team a 5-0 match win. As Frank Sinatra is reputed to have said, "the best revenge is a massive comeback success," and he should know because he attempted it more times than anybody else in history.

Those of us cowering in the pavilion were able to listen to a running commentary on the concluding phases of the final game, ably provided by Robin, who was stationed by the back door peering out into the torrential downpour. And when the combatants returned to the pavilion, two of them soaking up the success and the other two dripping with disappointment, everyone enjoyed a heartwarming chilli, expertly concocted for the occasion by Alan. Diversity of personnel is one of the great attractions of petanque and it was particularly pleasing to see that the Monument were fielding five lady players for this match. Their cheerful attitude did much to brighten up the gloomier aspects of the evening and, as you can see from this photo, taken before the rain arrived, they were able to add a touch of colourful flamboyance to the proceedings:   

This comprehensive result sees the A team now sitting in third place in Division 1 of the East Kent Coastal Petanque League, with the same number of wins but a game in hand over the team in second place. So there is definite scope for further progression. Next week we were scheduled to be playing the Dover Bells at Eastry on Thursday. But the area normally reserved for petanque will be given over to a wedding reception (have they no priorities?) so the Natives' previously postponed home match against the same team will now take place next Thursday at the Belmont Ground. And the away match against Dover Bells will now take place on a date yet to be announced. This is therefore a change to your advertised programme - the Natives A team will now be playing a rare home match next Thursday. In fact, there are three petanque matches at the Cricket Club next week: on Tuesday the B team take on Horse and Groom A; on Wednesday the Kent League team face Hartley Eagles and on Thursday as described above.