Twilight Robbery - From Phil
Last night the "A" team of the brave Natives were turned over by the most charming set of muggers you're ever likely to meet. This amiable assault took place on the petanque piste at the Monument, where the terrain was flat and hard and curiously dry. A shooter's paradise.
The season so far has been largely characterised by the inclemency of the weather and the only variation last night was that the severe wind this week came scything in from the North rather than the East, a smack of Arctic air, still fresh from scouring the sea-ice four thousand miles away.
The piste at the Monument is rather bijou and there's only enough room for two games to take place at any one time. This meant that the match commenced with a pair of triples games and when the first boule thrown by a Native was snagged by a low branch hanging from one of the trees lining the piste we had an early indication that this might not be our night! Following this less than auspicious beginning, Pete, Duncan and Phil rapidly found themselves 9-0 down, playing on that tree lined piste. Despite rallying to score 6 unanswered points of their own, the Natives could not recover sufficiently from their early deficit to prevent the Monument from taking the victory by 13 points to 6.
On the piste next door, meanwhile, Robin, Alan and Robert worked hard to overcome the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" that seemed to be working tirelessly in favour of the opposition and, as a result, they were able to record an excellent 13-8 victory. Although the Monument team frequently benefited from the "rub" of the gravel Alan's lobs made a very positive impression on the game:
With the match score poised at 1 all two games of doubles then got underway, while the remaining pairs watched and waited for a piste to become free so that they could conclude the match. The Monument had a sharp-shooter, a young chap with a beard and a body-warmer, who had dominated the triples game recently lost by the Natives. He was accompanied by a partner who ran her boules along the ground with great accuracy and together they made a formidable team. Robert and Duncan seemed to have their measure, however, when they raced into a 7-0 lead and, with Pete and Alan also securing an early advantage on the other piste, the situation was looking quite rosy for the Natives.
But then everything changed except the wind and before you could say, "gorblimey" the Natives were back in the hypothetical pavilion, having lost 13-7 and 13-10 respectively. Before the second of these results was in Robin and Phil had commenced their game against the senior pairing of the Monument team. While the weather may have been brisk and bitter our opponents, Ron and Mrs Ron, were anything but and they brought a splash of much needed sunshine to the proceedings. Their winning smiles were not matched by their fortune on the piste, however, and with Robin's shooting once more proving highly effective they soon found themselves 10 points in arrears. Unfortunately, by this time the game was a dead rubber and the Natives were dead in the water! Our 13-3 victory meant that the teams were separated by only one point overall but the match score was 3-2 to the Monument.
Everyone then shuddered and crunched their way back to the bar where a hot chilli was waiting, with extra jalapeños for those most in need of replenishing their inner warmth.
The team from the Monument were excellent and affable hosts and all the games were played with good sportsmanship and good cheer, despite the severity of the weather. When all's said and done, however, charming as they were, they turned us over, done us up like a load of kippers and sent us down the river. But the Natives are not remotely downhearted because that's not our way. As the song nearly says, "we'll meet the Monument again . . . some sunny day!"
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