D1 Report - Northwood Magpies (A) - 17th May Won 3-2 54/38

From Phil
There was a bright golden haze on the meadow. Normally this would be considered a "good thing" but on Tuesday evening, in the early stages of the petanque match between the Magpies of Northwood and Whitstable Natives A, the "golden haze" was more like a laser, slicing viciously into the eyes of the players.

The positioning of the piste at Northwood, so that the setting sun shines directly into one's face as it slowly sinks behind the leylandii trees, was probably a subterfuge perpetrated by the Manston Flyers, aware that the discomfort would last longer for players of a taller stature than for themselves. Ironically, however, the Flyers can no longer benefit from this peculiar arrangement of sun and piste because they have relocated and are now playing their home matches on a pile of rubble in Stourmouth. This fact was widely publicised but clearly completely lost on the Horse & Groom "A" team, who turned up at Northwood on Tuesday evening expecting to play a league match, only to find that the Flyers had flown. When this situation finally became apparent to them, the Horse & Groom trotted off despondently in a belated a quest to find the Rising Sun. What became of them and whether or not they found it, we may never know. But their plight is bound to be the subject of a BBC documentary in about five years time.

But, to return to the present, the Chief Magpie decided to begin our match with the round of three doubles games and we got underway bang on time and under the scything sun. Alan and Peter then proceeded to give both the sun and the Magpies short shrift by producing a master-class in the art of pointing and shooting to dismiss their opponents by 13-0 in the blink of a rather sore eye. In the words of the great Bill Shankly, "they were lucky to get nil." 

Meanwhile, Robin and Phil were pitched against a pair of lady Magpies, who both delivered their boules from the front of the hand and rolled them along the ground. While it's difficult to maintain much control with this technique, and some luck is required for it to be successful, it can work well at Northwood and I have seen games won by players using it. But not this game. The Magpies did garner a nice little crop of early points with their "scuttlers" and they established a 6-1 lead. But then the Natives got their eyes in (or, in this case, got them back!) and after a succession of successful ends they emerged with a 13-7 win to bring their run of consecutive doubles victories in all competitions this season to seven.

A further triumph in the remaining doubles game would have given the Natives an unassailable lead at half-time but, due to Robert and Duncan coming up against a couple of cunning point-pinchers, this was not to be. The Magpies swiftly gathered points, as if they were snapping-up shiny little treasures and, while the Natives fought hard to collect some points of their own, their opponents proved to be better at it by 13 to 8. 

With the match score at 2-1 in their favour the Natives now needed to win just one of the ensuing triples games for an overall victory. Step forward Robin, Alan and Robert, a trio of Natives who have already established themselves as a potent and successful force this season. They dismantled the lady boule rollers with consummate ease and posted an excellent 13-3 win to put the match beyond the reach of the Magpies. However, while these three Natives come with a certification of success, you may very possibly think that the other combination of Peter, Duncan and Phil need certifying of a different kind for losing the remaining triple to a bunch of young lads. But, speaking as a completely independent commentator, I'd have to say that the raw talent of our opponents served them extremely well and the Natives, as I saw it, were desperately unlucky on numerous occasions not to score a hatful of points. The score was 13-7 to the Magpies. But, by then, a 3-2 victory for the Natives was already in the bag.
As some of the brave Natives needed to be awake for work early the next day (one of them at 4:00am) we looked forward to a brief feast before dispersing to our various homes. Alas, we were then informed that the legendary Northwood supper was not to be available to teams until after the conclusion of the other match being played there that night. It seemed surprising that not so much as a quick sandwich could be rustled up for the hungry Natives. Perhaps they've found out what I wrote about them when they burned the food last year! Anyway, as it was already approaching 10 o'clock and the triples in the other match were still at their early stages, we were obliged to renounce the delights of the post-match buffet. In view of this, it now behoves the Natives to demonstrate to the Magpies the meaning of the word "hospitality" when they visit Whitstable for the return match later in the season. To this end, I suggest that we ask Alan to bake us one of these, to be presented to our opponents after the match. It is, of course, called a mag-pie.