D2 Report - Brown Jug D - 5th May - Lost 3-2 49/54

From Desi

It didn't turn out to be the best of evenings for us because WE LOST 2-3.

We arrived at the quaintest of public houses, The Brown Jug, with high hopes and waves of Courage running through our veins, though mine was the usual wine and soda!  We were given a warm welcome as always and once we had our refreshments in our hands, we made our way down through the tangled undergrowth to face the craggy surface of a demonic piste.  The sun was going down and our bodies shivered not just with the cold air blustering around us but with shredded nerves as we faced our opponents.  They all seemed pretty calm, chatting amongst themselves while we laboured away practicing and practicing and practicing.  When we thought we had a feel for the rough terrain, we began to play for real, starting with the Triples. 

Mick, Rodney and Alan played steadfastly on a nasty piece of piste.  But although it was a close game they couldn't close it down and sadly lost with a score of 13-12.  I didn't actually watch their game, but was told they played hard, sent sparks flying and really worried their opponents.  You'll get 'em next time boys, no doubt about that! 

The reason that I didn't see M, R and A's game was that I was concentrating on the other Triples game being played by Den (alias Patrick C - ask Bob why), Lorne and Steve.  I have to say that it was a struggle for our boys even with our cheery, gung-ho verbal support.  They played extremely well but were up against not only the lunar surface of the piste but also a woman and what a PLAYER she turned out to be, accurate as well!  It was all to no avail, the rocky ground battered the boys boules and they lost with a score of 13-3. 

In the turnaround after quick refreshments and much admiration of The Brown Jug's new outdoor, plastic-covered Piste resembling an empty cannabis factory, we continued on with the Doubles. We were 2-0 down with 3 games to go! 

Everyone started to feel somewhat warmer once the wind had died down and we felt recharged and hopeful that we could do it in the second half, we could win, and why not, we are after all THE WHITSTABLE NATIVES! 

Mick and Jim played on the far piste and some ends were good and some not so great (I'm talking piste conditions) but eventually they overtook the opposition and ended up  winning 8-13. Well done, that was our FIRST WIN! 

On the near piste Captain Bob and his Man with Two Names were putting together a game that manifested itself into a WINNER.  They had watched the previous game, studied the lay of the land and knew what they had to do. They had to stay in front of the coche and know their lengths.  Bob said he always knew he had good length (I beg to differ on that subject but let's not get personal) and it was to their own best advantage, to play them.  So they did. They shone.  They were stars above a bleak horizon.  They were leading lights that dazzled all who dared to cast their eyes in their direction. Bob and the Man with Two Names forged a trail of mastery showing everyone their skill and dexterity and in a blink of an eye, it was over. They WON EASILY with a score of 7-13.  Cogger you are my hero and Man with Two Names, you're not so bad either! 

Now we come to the game played on the centre piste with Desi and Patrick H and I'll state it now - WE LOST and we're not blaming the hidden flint stones that caused our boules to land and then zing off at right angles onto the other pistes! 

We started off well by getting 4 points then the opposition caught up, then we gained another few points, so did they and at 7-7 the opposition woman took off her padded jacket saying that it restricted her movement.  From that moment on our downfall was already being blazoned across the media with headlines of - SPORTING DISASTER IN DUMPTON, KENT. SPARKS ARE FLYING AS WOMAN ON THE PISTE WITH NO JACKET, IS SEEN ANNIHILATING 6'3" STUDENT AND 5'1 SENIOR CITIZEN. FOR MORE DETAILS OF THIS DISASTER, SEE INSIDE PAGE OBITUARY COLUMN. We lost 8-13 in front of a  disheartened Native audience who did their utmost to encourage us but unfortunately their faith in us fell desolately onto stony ground.